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The Warm Fuzzy Story

A long time ago, when people had happy, uncomplicated lives, there lived two very specially happy people named John and Mary. They had two children.

Now, to understand how happy they were, you have to understand how life was then. You see, in those happy days, everyone was given at birth, a small, soft bag. Anytime a person reached into this bag, he was able to pull out a Warm Fuzzy.

Warm Fuzzies were very much in demand because, whenever someone was given a Warm Fuzzy, it made him feel warm all over. People who didn't get Warm Fuzzies regularly were in danger of developing a sickness in their brain-stems, which caused them to shrivel up and die.

In those days, it was very easy to get Warm Fuzzies. Anytime that somebody felt like it, he might walk up to you and says, "I'd like to have a Warm Fuzzy". You would then reach into your bag and pull out a Fuzzy. As soon as the Fuzzy saw the light of day, it would smile and blossom into a large, friendly Warm Fuzzy. People were always asking each other for Warm Fuzzies, and since they were always given freely, getting enough of them was never a problem. As a consequence, everyone was happy and felt warm and wonderful most of the time.

One day, a bad witch became angry because everyone seemed so happy no one was buying her potions and ointments, so she devised a very wicked plan. One beautiful morning, she crept up to John and whispered in his ear; "See here John, look at all the Fuzzies that Mary is giving to others. You know... if she keeps that up, eventually she is going to run out... and then there won't be any left for you…".

John was astonished. He turned to the witch and said "Do you mean to tell me that there isn't a Warm Fuzzy in our bag every time we reach into it?"

And the witch said "No! Absolutely NOT! Once you run out, that's it! You won't have ANY MORE... EVER!" "Where did you hear that?" Asked John skeptically. "Why," said the witch, "EVERYBODY knows that!" With this, she flew away on her broom-stick, laughing and cackling maliciously.

John took this to heart and began to notice everytime Mary gave a Warm Fuzzy to somebody else. Eventually he got worried and upset because he liked Mary's Warm Fuzzies very much, and did not want to lose them. He certainly did not think it was right for Mary to be spending all her Warm Fuzzies on the children and on others. He began to complain everytime he saw Mary giving a Warm Fuzzy to somebody else, and because Mary liked him very much, she stopped giving Warm Fuzzies to other people most of the time, and she reserved them all for him.

The children watched this and soon began to get the idea that it was wrong to give Warm Fuzzies freely. They too became very careful, and began to feel worried whenever they gave away too many Warm Fuzzies. Even though they found a Warm Fuzzy everytime they reached into their bag... they reached in less and less and became more and more stingy.

Soon people began to notice the lack of Warm Fuzzies, and they began to feel less and less warmth. They began to shrivel up and occasionally, people would die from lack of Warm Fuzzies. More and more people went to the witch to buy her potions and ointments... even though they didn't seem to work too well.

Well, the situation got very serious indeed. The bad witch, who had been watching all of this, couldn't afford to have all the people die so she devised a new plan.

She gave everyone a bag that was similar to the Fuzzy Bag, except that this one was cold and smooth. Inside the witch's bag were Cold Pricklies. These Cold Pricklies made them feel cold and prickly. But they did prevent people's brain-stems from shrivelling up. So the end result was that, while very few people were dying, a lot of people were still unhappy and feeling very cold and prickly.

The situation got very complicated because, since the coming of the witch, there were less and less Warm Fuzzies, so Warm Fuzzies which used to be thought of as free as air, became extremely valuable. This caused people to do all sorts of things in order to obtain them.

People who could not find a generous partner had to buy their Warm Fuzzies and had to work long hours to earn the money. Another thing which happened was that some people would take Cold Pricklies... which seemed to be limitless and freely available... coat them white and fluffy... and pass them on as Warm Fuzzies. These were really Plastic Fuzzies, and they caused additional difficulties.

For instance, two people would get together and freely exchange Plastic Fuzzies. Since they thought they had been exchanging Warm Fuzzies, people grew very confused, never realizing that their cold prickly feelings were really the result of the fact that they had been given a lot of Plastic Fuzzies.

So the situation was very, very dismal, and it all started because of the coming of the witch who made people believe that some day, when least expected... they might reach into their Warm Fuzzy Bag and find no more.

One day, a young woman who was a good witch came along. She had heard about the bad witch... but was not worried about the world running out of Warm Fuzzies. She gave them out freely... even when not asked. People disapproved of her... because she was giving all the children the idea that they should not worry about running out of Warm Fuzzies... when EVERYBODY knew this just WASN'T so!

The children liked her very much because she felt good to them, and they trusted her... they began to give out Warm Fuzzies whenever they felt like it. The grown-ups became concerned and decided to pass a law to protect the children from depleting their supplies of Warm Fuzzies. The law made it a criminal offence to give out Warm Fuzzies in a reckless manner.

The children, however, seemed not to care... and in spite of the law, they continued to give each other Warm Fuzzies whenever they felt like it, and ALWAYS when asked. Because there were so many, many children,... almost as many as grown-ups,... it began to look as if maybe they would have their way.

As of now... it is hard to say what will happen. Will the grown-up forces..."REASON and LOGIC" based on HEARSAY, stop the recklessness of the children? Are the grown-ups going to finally join the children in taking a chance that there will always be as many Warm Fuzzies as needed? Will they remember the days that their children are trying to bring back when Warm Fuzzies were abundant because people gave them away freely?

WE SHALL SEE ... IT'S ... ALL ... UP ... TO ... YOU ... AND ... ME!


modified by unknown editor from a story called
"The Original Warm Fuzzy Tale"
by Claude M. Steiner, copyright 1969

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